Softball Wrap-Up

Scared Hitless had a decent showing in the Itasca league this season, compiling a 10-2 regular season record and earning the #2 seed in the tournament. After beating #3 seed The Misfits for the 3rd time this season to reach the tournament final, Where Ya At? once again proved to be too much for the Scared Hitless squad, sending them home for the winter with a 3-0 defeat.

For the season, self-proclaimed team MVP Blake W led the team in runs, hits, homers, RBI, batting average, slugging percentage, OPS, VORP, win shares, EQA, runs created, isolated power, and nose hair. He also led the team in number of 5-hop throws to second base from the outfield and has the dubious distinction of being the only male member of the team to strikeout this year.

Tournament Results

Scared Hitless predictably won in convincing fashion against The Misfits in the make-up game from last week.

Even more predictably, Scared Hitless pissed down their collective legs against Where Ya At? committing multiple errors to lose the game 3-0. All 3 losses this year were to this freaking team and they shut us out the last two games.

I might provide a few season stats when I'm less pissed about our pathetic showing in the tourney final.

It's a TRAVESHAMOCKERY!

The Scared Hitless softball team will be back in action tonight against long-time nemesis The Misfits in semi-final action of the 14" coed league tournament. As you might recall (if you are on our team, because my lack of blog updates precludes anyone else from knowing this...) the first attempt to play this game was cut short last Monday by our dear friend, Mother Nature. Apparently pissed off that the park district was able to get the fields into playable condition just hours after a morning thunderstorm, Mother Nature decided to unleash holy hell on the Chicagoland area at approximately 7:15pm. The timing of the storm was about as bad as you could ask for. Scared Hitless held a comfortable 4-2 lead heading into the top of the 7th, and needed 3 outs to move into the final at 8:30pm. "Comfortable" being a relative term because co-ed teams usually don't score a lot of runs because you have to alternate guys and girls in the lineup, which suppresses scoring. The Misfits had scored a total of 1 run in the two regular season meetings and were handed 2 runs in the 1st inning because of lackluster defense by the Scared Hitless squad.

The top of the 7th was just underway when the rain came, effectively turning the 14" mush ball into a 14" bar of soap. The Misfits were able to capitalize on an errant throw by our gold glove caliber 3rd basewoman by scoring 2 runs to tie the game as the lightning, wind, and rain intensified. As Scared Hitless came up to bat, visibly shaken by the defensive collapse that tied the game, their hopes began to rise as they realized that they would now get a chance to hit in the rain and make the other team try to field and throw the slippery ball. Those hopes were soon dashed as the umpire apparently pulled his head out of his behind and realized that we had been playing in the middle of a thunderstorm for the last 10 minutes.

The game was delayed in the middle of the 7th and the fields that were already saturated from the morning rains began to puddle as the game was postponed sending everyone racing for their cars. The team was obviously pissed about having to play defense in the middle of a thunderstorm and losing the lead. It was assumed that we would continue the game next week in the bottom of the 7th needing only a run to win the game. There was even a slight chance that the game would be called after the last completed inning giving Scared Hitless a 4-2 win in 6 innings. Because of the protests of the Scared Hitless captain, repeatedly stating our case that it was unfair to play half an inning in the rain in dangerous field conditions, there was even a remote chance that the game would be continued in the top of the 7th. The rulebook would have to be consulted to determine the fates of the two teams. The only problem was that there was no rule in place for a game susupeded by rain. My only guess is that when the rulebook was first written, the games must have been played in one of those retractable roof facilities that are so prevalent these days in park district softball.

So without a written rule to guide the ultimate decision, it was left in the uncapable hands of the park district director, who came up with a solution that P.T. Barnum himself would have been proud of:

"Because the game was tied, the entire game will be replayed in its entirety the following Monday."

WTF?

"Because the game was tied?" So if the visiting team had scored 3 runs in the top of the 7th to take the lead, would this genius have proclaimed "because the game was not-tied, the away team wins even though the home team has yet to bat."

So instead of Scared Hitless beginning tonight's game needing 1 run to move into the finals, there will instead be a full 7 inning game played to determine the winner. I would expect that Scared Hitless would win this game rather handily given that the underdog Misfits now realize they have to play another full game against this coed mushball powerhouse, but considering the recent turn of events as well as the fact that the umpire is also a player on one of the teams that did not make the playoffs, I don't know if there is anything that would surprise me at this point.

Check back tomorrow for the tournament results.